Foster care expert Derek Clark reveals a few solutions on how to connect to your child and build trust.

This information will inspire you to share hope and trust with your child/youth in the foster care system. You will greatly increase your chances of success if you read this. Do you know how to avoid the mistake of pushing your child away causing him/her to not trust you?

First and foremost, children want to be listened to. It is interesting to know that the same letters in the word Listen are the same exact letters (arranged differently) in the word Silent. I recently spoke at a Foster Youth Speak Out Conference where the youth were able to vent and share their frustrations. Do you know what their number one complaint was…”Nobody listens to me…everybody just tells me what to do…and they wonder why we don’t trust…by not listening to me, they don’t respect me, by not listening to me and not acknowledging me, I do not feel secure here.”

How sad to know that in this day and age children still feel abandoned and rejected while in the system. Can’t we get this right? Aren’t they supposed to feel safe? Where is the empathy? Where is the love? Where is the security? Where is the respect? These are the 5 critical needs of children: To feel respected, to feel important, to feel accepted, to feel included and to feel secure. Children are not a case number, they are real human beings that need respect while in the system too.

Are you speaking faith and determination in the child’s spirit so that they can heal and move on? It really does start with the 5 critical needs of children listed above. Feed their spirit. If you don’t, who will? Help break the cycle.

As a motivational speaker and foster care expert, I would like to share what has helped me to move beyond my past so that it does not infect my future. The first step I took toward living a more rewarding life was speaking the right kind of words. I starting speaking words that inspired great intentions, words that brought out the best in me, words that produced encouraging thoughts. Words have power, especially when there is strong faith behind them. Words without faith are like garbage coming out of your mouth. They don’t amount to anything. Did you know that the words you speak and think with can be prophetic? They can completely change the quality of your life, for good or bad. When you speak negative words, words of pity and defeat, you are going to attract these negative forces into your life. When you speak positive words of faith and victory, you are going to attract that kind of power.There is much to be said about being in control of your thoughts, words and actions.

So ask yourself whether if, when you speak to your children, are you are speaking words of faith or words of fear. I believe the more you talk about something, the more you turn that something into a reality. So if you look in the mirror and say, “I hate my job or I can’t stand this kid” – and then keep saying that day after day – chances are you are going to become cemented inside of you. But if you tell yourself you love your job and love helping children, I believe you will attract the type of positive energy that will inspire you to change their lives. You will take actions that are directly related to the words you’re saying to yourself. The words will be positive, and this positivity will energize you into taking proactive steps toward bringing about the reality. So be very careful how you talk to yourself. It takes practice to be aware of what you are saying. Often the words fly out of the mouth so fast that you find yourself reacting to your own thoughts. Be controlled with your mouth as well as your thoughts. It will lead you to a richer and happier life.

We are all born with the potential to be a champion, but this potential is destroyed when we allow others to destroy our belief in ourselves. So never give up. Find the faith within to fuel your spirit. Believe in your vision. Believe in yourself and believe that you have a lot to offer. Use your life to put your stamp on the world.