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11 Phrases You Should Never Say to a Child in Foster Care

Comments (3)
  1. RH says:

    For me it was the people who said I needed good old fashioned discipline (some of us are in foster care because of beatings), and were absolutely convinced that there was no oossibility that I might already know who Jesus Christ is, and assumed I was a bad kid (many of us are there because someone was bad to us.

    We aren’t in your home because we want to be. We had no input in that decision. So please don’t stuff us with meds or drag us to therapy for “attachment disorder” because we don’t bond with you. We may not want to be there.

    Don’t take away our clothes and possessions. Don’t take our makeup. Don’t cut our hair. We are not dolls for you to dress.

    Don’t use us to show off to your church or friends.

  2. Tara says:

    Thank you for posting this article. While some of these listed are familiar to me, some of them are appalling!
    I can’t believe anyone, especially an adult, would ever say such things!
    I hope that in the future you will add to your article, “and things you should say to a child in foster care. Sometimes, we need ideas or positive suggestions of things and phrases that may help a child to feel better, more confident, and special in a good way!
    Things I say to the children in my life are:
    You are so smart, kind, loving, fun, sweet, etc.
    Did you know that you are the best boy/girl ever?
    I bet your teacher is so happy to have you in their classroom! They are so lucky to have you as a student.
    You are so helpful to me! Thank you for being willing to help me/your teacher/your grandma.

  3. Rae Montgomery says:

    I am currently in foster care, and I hate when my “new parents” take away belongings, which most of us don’t really have or are limited. I am here because I was very much so, neglected and starved, beaten and raped and so naturally I don’t respond to yelling or punishments well. I’m not a bad kid, I use manners, I do have my handful of mental illnesses, which is expected, in fact I’m even doing online school because I have extremely bad anxiety. “Attachment issues” are not something that can just be fixed. I’m not going to bond with you if I don’t feel the need to. Just leave me alone, let me sit in my room, ya know? If I don’t want to connect, don’t make me. Anyways thank you for making this article as it is extremely useful for foster parents and people who are surrounded with foster children alike. Bless you and have a wonderful day.

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